Please don’t think I have abandon you.  I have been out of control health wise lately.  My anxiety/emotions have been a bit crazy since April 20th! I have been trying to regain a sense of normalcy again and it is taking me a bit longer than I even expected. Some days just trying not to have a full-blown panic attack is a chore. For those of you who don’t know I have battled with anxiety and depression for my whole adult life. Hence my eating issues as well.  I have had it under control with minimal issues for the last 7 years, and then of course eating Paleo the past 2 years, has been amazing for me.  I haven’t had to take any anti anxiety or anti depressant daily for 7 years.

Well, April 20th, my 22 yr old son was in a really scary accident that could have taken his life.  Thankfully we were blessed with a miracle because he came out of it just scared and with scars from broken glass.  On 7/18 guess what…yes he was in another stupid car accident, this time just a fender bender.   I need to be honest…  he was playing with his stupid phone adjusting his music and this is what caused both accidents.  Thankfully now he is on foot and not behind a wheel (well maybe just a ten speed) for a while!  You can imagine how this has affected me as a parent. I am so happy he is alive and well and that Nobody else was hurt from it. And then of course I just want to slap him silly.   I relive the night of the first accident in my head over and over. I have the accident scene and his burning car stuck in my brain because I drove up onto it, luckily he was out of the car at that time.  Weeks went by and I thought I was ok. Then I realized my anxiety would hit me like a ton of bricks out of no where. Then I realized I was food soothing and I still am.  I am working very hard to get back on track and working really hard to stay off anti anything pills.

I guess I am telling you my story because this helps me to work on me. I am not perfect, I am human and just like anyone else out there.  I know what I need to do, it’s just getting there to do it.

I know some may want to judge my son and I would understand if they did, but he is one of soooo many people who have and still do get distracted by their phone, radio, eating, smoking, talking etc.  I believe he knows how luckily and blessed he is now.  He is suffering the consequences  without a car and having to take classes and possible lose his license for a while.  He will learn by his own mistakes and I am sure it will make him a better person in the long run. As his mom I can only hope he does right???

I’ve just needed a time out for me.

Please I encourage you all to keep drilling into your children’s heads to NOT use their cell phones while they are driving. I encourage you as adults to put your phone down and drive your car. It only takes a second…a split second.

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